What to Look for in a Jiu-Jitsu Gym (Especially for Your Kid)
By Allen “The Bossman” Bose
So one of my best friends hits me up the other day. He says,
“I want to get my daughter into Jiu-Jitsu. What should I look for?”
And I’ve got to be honest, that question hit me deep.
Because this isn’t just about signing up for a class. This is about handing your kid over to someone who’s going to help shape how they see themselves, how they carry themselves, and how they learn to fight — and I don’t mean just physically.
Let’s get one thing straight: not all gyms are built the same. And when it comes to putting your kid — or yourself — into a martial arts environment, there’s a standard of excellence you should demand. Not because you're being picky, but because what happens on those mats changes people. It builds confidence, grit, humility, and community. Or — if you choose wrong — it tears people down, breeds egos, and becomes toxic real quick.
Here’s what I told my friend. And honestly? These are rules I live by.
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1. Lineage
If you're trusting someone to teach your kid Jiu-Jitsu, you better know where they learned it from. Who taught your coach? And who taught them? Lineage in Jiu-Jitsu isn’t just about name-dropping. It’s about accountability. If your coach can't trace their belt back to a legit black belt — that's a red flag.
This art is sacred. It’s handed down from warrior to warrior. If the lineage is shady, you’re not walking into a dojo… you’re stepping into a costume party.
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2. Instructor Belt Rank
A black belt should be on that mat — period. I’m not saying a purple or brown can’t be a great coach, but at the very least, there better be someone in that room who's walked the full path.
That black belt isn’t just a decoration — it’s a promise. A promise that someone has been humbled, broken, rebuilt, tested, and still came back. That’s the energy your kid needs to be around.
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3. Colored Belt Distribution
Look around the room. If the gym is nothing but white belts — ask why. And if it’s only colored belts beating up white belts, run faster.
A good gym has a balance: a couple black belts, a few browns, a healthy handful of purples, and a sea of blues and whites. That mix matters. It creates mentorship, culture, and organic growth.
When a gym is structured right, the upper belts help the lower belts grow — and the white belts bring the hunger that keeps the upper belts honest.
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4. Competition vs. Hobby Culture
Now I’m not saying everyone has to compete — that’s not realistic. But if nobody is competing, that gym’s missing something.
Competing puts the technique to the test. It keeps the pressure real. It helps the coaches stay sharp, and it gives the students purpose. A good gym has people chasing gold, but never shaming those who just show up for the love of the art.
At Blackheart, some of our best people have never set foot on a competition mat — but they train like they’re preparing for war. And that’s the culture you want.
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5. Class Size vs. Instructor Ratio
There is no reason 30 people should be sharing one coach. That’s daycare, not martial arts.
If your kid is going to spend an hour on the mats, they should be seen, corrected, encouraged, and challenged. If the instructor doesn’t even know their name, you’re wasting time.
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6. Community is Everything
Here’s the deal: if you’ve been training at a gym for a year and you don’t have friends there — not just training partners, but people you’d hang out with on the weekend — something’s wrong.
The dojo is sacred. It’s where people bleed, laugh, cry, and grow together. If that space feels cold, cliquey, or transactional — you’re not in a martial arts school, you’re in a subscription service.
At Blackheart, we’ve built something different. It’s not just sweat and takedowns — it’s hugs after class, lifting each other up after bad days, and watching kids grow into warriors. That kind of thing doesn’t happen by accident. It takes culture, leadership, and intention.
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A Humble (But Kinda Funny) Flex
Look — I’m not one to brag. I’m just a humble martial arts coach who occasionally gets choked out by 7-year-olds and still shows up with a smile.
But I will say this:
Blackheart Martial Arts has been voted Onslow County’s “Best Fitness Facility” three years in a row.
Coincidence? Maybe.
But I like to think it’s because we give a damn — about our people, our culture, and doing things the right way.
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Final Thoughts
So yeah, when my friend asked me what to look for — I didn’t tell him to go look for trophies or shiny mats. I told him to look for lineage, leadership, community, and culture.
Because Jiu-Jitsu isn’t a sport. It’s not a fitness trend. It’s a path — a lifelong one — and if your kid is going to start walking it, they better have someone beside them who knows the way.
And if you’re lucky enough to find a gym like that?
You’re not just buying a membership.
You’re joining a tribe.
